afa

INT. KITCHEN – AFTERNOON

KAKKELINKA pours coffee into a cup and adds milk. PAPSE enters the kitchen.

PAPSE: (picking up the cup) Paffel geb beb? Peppilep krakbæv lollepolka bøppe plom.

KAKKELINKA: (defensively) Pak, snakke. Pølse proplok nul nul akmasse møppe.

PAPSE: (irritated) Kaksa. Karmel pellepep nakke bap snegle?

KAKKELINKA: (angrily) Jep, deppe snakblok! Pappelpinke pik blomme speltmel ak prøvekost!

PAPSE: (yelling) Naksi, bakkedal mok sprødko mama! Mek plemspand makkemak pu bobbel-snot!

KAKKELINKA: (shouting) Pepsi orker klemmesang dak peppe blingpap! Pap trøffeldunk bæbe los!

PAPSE slams the cup on the counter, shattering it.

PAPSE: (seething) Rolle tis, åh. Glem passer akkimami peppe. Pak lakkefråds.

PAPSE storms out of the kitchen, leaving KAKKELINKA standing there in shock.

KAKKELINKA: (to herself) Pakkeleg taffegaffe?

She is dressed poorly and she is having a conversation with herself about which type of tea to drink, she hates coffee. the conversation switches between happy, dramatic, joyful and full of dead and existential crisis.

INT. BANKOALLE'S APARTMENT – MORNING

BANKOALLE, a disheveled woman in her mid-50s, stands in her cluttered kitchen, wearing a mismatched outfit of sweatpants and a stained t-shirt. She stares at her collection of tea bags, muttering to herself.

BANKOALLE: (happy) Oh, I think I'll have a nice cup of chamomile today. It's so calming and soothing.

She picks up the chamomile tea bag and starts to fill up her kettle, but then stops and changes her mind.

BANKOALLE: (dramatic) No, wait. I need something stronger. Something with more flavor and intensity.

She puts the chamomile tea bag down and starts to rummage through her tea collection, muttering to herself.

BANKOALLE: (joyful) Ah, yes! Earl Grey. It's so elegant and refined.

She picks up the Earl Grey tea bag and starts to fill up her kettle, but then stops and changes her mind again.

BANKOALLE: (full of dread) What's the point? Why even bother? Life is meaningless.

She drops the Earl Grey tea bag and starts to stare blankly out the window, lost in an existential crisis.

BANKOALLE: (to herself) Why do we even bother with these little things? Drinking tea, dressing up, trying to be happy? We're all going to die anyway.

She shakes her head and takes a deep breath, trying to snap out of it.

BANKOALLE: (shaking her head) No, no, no. I can't think like that. I have to stay positive.

She picks up a green tea bag and starts to fill up her kettle, but then stops and changes her mind once more.

BANKOALLE: (paranoid) Wait, what if the green tea is poisoned? What if someone is trying to kill me?

She drops the green tea bag and starts to pace nervously around the kitchen, muttering to herself.

BANKOALLE: (paranoid) I can't trust anyone. Not even myself. I have to be careful.

The kettle starts to whistle, interrupting her thoughts. BANKOALLE jumps, startled, and then takes a deep breath.

BANKOALLE: (to herself) Okay, okay. I'll just make some tea and try to relax.

She pours the boiling water over a plain black tea bag, and takes a sip, looking momentarily content before her expression once again turns to one of worry.

BANKOALLE: (whispering to herself) But what if this is just a distraction? What if I'm missing something important?

She takes another sip of her tea, lost in thought as the camera fades to black.

INT. KITCHEN – AFTERNOON

KAKKELINKA pours coffee into a cup and adds milk. PAPSE enters the kitchen.

PAPSE: (picking up the cup) What is this? You put too much milk in my coffee again.

KAKKELINKA: (defensively) No, I didn't. That's the perfect amount of milk.

PAPSE: (irritated) It's not. Can't you ever get it right?

KAKKELINKA: (angrily) I always get it right! You're just being impossible to please!

PAPSE: (yelling) No, you're not listening to me! I want less milk in my coffee!

KAKKELINKA: (shouting) You always find something to complain about! I'm tired of it!

PAPSE slams the cup on the counter, shattering it.

PAPSE: (seething) That's it, I can't take this anymore. I'm leaving.

PAPSE storms out of the kitchen, leaving KAKKELINKA standing there in shock.

KAKKELINKA: (to herself) What just happened?

INT. LIVING ROOM – EVENING

PAPSE is on the phone, pacing back and forth. BANKOKALLE's voice is heard from the other end of the line.

PAPSE: Can you believe it, BANKOKALLE? KAKKELINKA misplaced another cup in the kitchen cupboard! It's like she's doing it on purpose to drive me crazy.

BANKOKALLE: (on the phone) Maybe it was just a mistake, PAPSE. You know how forgetful KAKKELINKA can be sometimes.

PAPSE: (rolling her eyes) It's not just the cup, BANKOKALLE. KAKKELINKA never helps out around the house, and she's always leaving her stuff lying around.

As PAPSE continues to gossip, KAKKELINKA enters the room and overhears the conversation.

KAKKELINKA: (shouting) How dare you talk about me like that, PAPSE! You're always complaining about everything I do.

PAPSE: (defensive) I'm not complaining, KAKKELINKA. I'm just venting to BANKOKALLE.

KAKKELINKA: (angry) It's not just this one time. You're always criticizing me and never appreciating anything I do.

PAPSE: (frustrated) Well, maybe if you actually did more around the house and paid attention to where things go, I wouldn't have to complain all the time!

KAKKELINKA: (shouting) I can't believe you! You're so ungrateful, PAPSE. I do so much for this household, and you don't even notice.

PAPSE: (yelling back) That's not true, KAKKELINKA! You're the one who never acknowledges all the things I do for us.

KAKKELINKA: (angrily) I don't have to acknowledge anything. It's my house too!

PAPSE: (fuming) Fine, if that's how you want to be, then maybe we should just go our separate ways!

KAKKELINKA: (agitated) Maybe we should, PAPSE! I can't stand being with someone who doesn't appreciate me.

PAPSE: (firmly) Fine! Then it's settled. We're done.

As PAPSE continues to talk on the phone, KAKKELINKA snatches the phone out of her hand.

KAKKELINKA: (harshly) Goodbye BANKOKALLE.

KAKKELINKA hangs up the phone and looks at PAPSE.

KAKKELINKA: (upset) I can't believe you would talk about me like that, PAPSE. You're supposed to be my friend.

PAPSE: (ashamed) I

'm sorry, KAKKELINKA. I didn't mean to hurt you. I was just venting and I didn't realize you were there.

KAKKELINKA: (sighs) It's not just this one time, PAPSE. I feel like you're always criticizing me and never appreciating anything I do. It hurts my feelings.

PAPSE: (regretful) I know, and I'm sorry. I do appreciate you, KAKKELINKA. I just don't always express it.

KAKKELINKA: (tearfully) It's just that I feel like I'm not enough for you, PAPSE. Like everything I do is wrong.

PAPSE: (comforting) That's not true, KAKKELINKA. I love you just the way you are, quirks and all. I'll try to be more appreciative in the future.

KAKKELINKA: (smiling through tears) Thank you, PAPSE. I love you too.

PAPSE and KAKKELINKA embrace, both feeling relieved that they were able to clear the air and work through their issues.

FADE OUT

INT. KITCHEN – DAY

PAPSE is standing in front of the kitchen cupboard, looking frustrated. KAKKELINKA enters the room.

KAKKELINKA: Hey, what's wrong?

PAPSE: What's wrong? This is wrong! (points to the cupboard) You put the cup in the wrong place again!

KAKKELINKA: (confused) What cup? What wrong place?

PAPSE: (exasperated) The cup I always use for my morning coffee! It's supposed to be on the top shelf, on the left side, right next to the sugar jar! But you put it on the bottom shelf, on the right side, behind the cereal boxes!

KAKKELINKA: (apologetic) Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know it was such a big deal.

PAPSE: (frustrated) It is a big deal! I need my coffee in the morning to start my day, and I don't have time to search for it every time!

KAKKELINKA: (trying to be helpful) Well, why don't you just move it to a more convenient spot yourself?

PAPSE: (angry) Because I shouldn't have to! We agreed on where things go in the kitchen, and you keep messing it up! It's like you don't care about me or our home!

KAKKELINKA: (defensive) That's not true! I do care, but sometimes I forget or make mistakes. It's not like I'm doing it on purpose.

PAPSE: (calming down a bit) I know, I know. But it's just frustrating when it happens over and over again. Can we please try to be more consistent with where we put things?

KAKKELINKA: (nodding) Sure, I'll try my best. And I'm sorry for causing you stress.

PAPSE: (smiling) Thanks, I appreciate it. And sorry for getting so worked up over a cup.

KAKKELINKA: (laughing) It's okay, I understand. It's the little things that can drive us crazy sometimes.

PAPSE and KAKKELINKA hug, and the tension dissipates.

FADE OUT.

FADE IN

INT. TOILET – DAY

PAPSE sits on the toilet, just finished pooping.

PAPSE (shouting) Akkeflom pappegakke!

PAPSE puts down his book. No reaction to the call, so he shouts again.

(shouting louder) Akkeflomme Pappegakkebak!

INT. SOFA – DAY

KAKKELINKA hears the shouting and promptly gets up and goes to the toilet.

INT. TOILET – DAY

PAPSE and KAKKELINKA make eye contact. PAPSE Akkeflommi.

KAKKELINKA pats PAPSE on the head. PAPSE smiles.

KAKKELINKA Pelle blem bop, kappe Papse-pølle.

KAKKELINKA looks at the toilet paper holder and sees that it's empty.

KAKKELINKA Rakfakkels obbe! (pause) Sgu bankosnak!

KAKKELINKA turns head and shouts

KAKKELINKA Akkeflomki bob praksel-dreven pølleflip!

PAPSE joins and they shout together

BOTH Prop pølseplebber akkeflom pappegak!

KAKKELINKA Bobbi

PAPSE BLÆMME!

EXT. STREET – DAY

TORBOB is standing on the street, busking. Hears the shout of KAKKELINKA. Runs to help.

INT. TOILET – DAY

TORBOB enters the toilet and KAKKELINKA explains the sitation. PAPSE is reading a book again.

KAKKELINKA Plebber ak ak pøllebråd peppe snabelrøv,

TORBOB Pøh?

KAKKELINKA Reolsmart tråd, bolle.

TORBOB runs. KAKKELINKA punches PAPSE on the shoulder.

KAKKELINKA Pelp.

PAPSE Trommedås?

KAKKELINKA Jappe spåner, røvmussel. Permakors poppedrab mæppe krakskak skammelås drok bober-lem, peppe Papse-pølle. Flono bebverkslan flap fingerslop.

KAKKELINKA and PAPSE both read their books while waiting.

TORBOB comes running back, panting hard, holding a roll of toilet paper.

TORBOB Revne! (panting) Revne blim-blim, pu-ha!

KAKKELINKA and PAPSE cheerful.

KAKKELINKA and PAPSE Helvede!

Everyone smiles.

KAKKELINKA procedes to wipe ass of PAPSE.

KAKKELINKA Fle, gok ak brevsnip, Papse Babse!

PAPSE gives KAKKELINKA a kiss on the cheek.

PAPSE Bep bep!

PAPSE runs off, giving a quick nod to TORBOB on the way.

KAKKELINKA turns head to TORBOB (grateful)

KAKKELINKA Pæp, ebbe deppe?

TORBOB Torbob. Torbob Plopsen.

KAKKELINKA shakes hand with TORBOB.

TORBOB leaves.

KAKKELINKA sticks hand in toilet and grabs a poop.

KAKKELINKA looks in mirror

KAKKELINKA Uhu bloppemesti! Pleb-tram diskobugt!

KAKKELINKA eats shit.

FADE OUT